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Post by Clannibal on Oct 28, 2015 16:44:41 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Even now, Zachary watched as Lori busted open another bottle, a corked one, but the sight of some of it foaming out onto the ground actually gave him a panicked feeling. Despite knowing they had found the mother lode and couldn't get any luckier, it was like precious fine gold now. Every drop mattered to him. He was at least appeased at the sight of the girl pulling her lips to the spraying liquid in an attempt to catch as much as she could. That was a sight he had missed, he realized then. Lori drinking, Lori rejuvenated. Their drinking time was the only fun he'd had on this entire island; at least since he took his first swim in the lagoon. That moment had been pretty refreshing, actually. And then Nix had to go and start whining. He thought back to that day with more bitterness than anything. He had really liked Nix and, like Lori, she chose to bitch him away.
He walked over and kicked the fallen bits of glass underneath the wooden shelving, so they wouldn't step on it at some point. He felt a moment of guilt as he thought of what he could be doing right now: fishing with the others, helping feed the few older people they had, and that little girl that hung around Raion so much. He could be hunting monkeys, an idea Raion had proposed. Was he really going to do this now when so much needed doing outside?
The urgency in his heart, the sweat-pounding beating, made him feel he didn't have a choice. He took more swigs of the drink he had shared with Lori, chugging it until he finished it. It burned fabulously in his throat and helped ease his anxiety. Guilt was not something he wanted or felt he needed. He was not the responsible one. Raion was. He could count on that softie to take care of things while he disappeared for a few hours. Days, maybe. His eyes glazed over and he moved his body closer to Lori's, choosing to forget everything that had just happened between them. This was their element, their happy place. He was certain that this was the time when they could be friends, more than ever.
"Want to make this our clubhouse?" he asked, purposely trying to sound silly, like a kid asking a friend to form a dumb club. He felt he had to force his smile. Panic still threatened to drown out his newfound excitement. He still gripped the empty glass in his hand, unaware that his knuckles were turning white.
No matter how much progress he made with his demons, they still seemed to find ways to pull him back down.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 28, 2015 22:50:59 GMT -5
Lori turned and watched Zach like a lion watches her prey as he moved to kick the glass to the side. "Always responsible, aren't you?" she asked while watching him kick the dust around. She tilted her head and took another sip, stomach lurching at the alcohol that she had quickly ingested. Her body would not like this new constant onslaught of alcohol after it had been a while since drinking. She had still been facing the emotional turmoil, the shakes, the fever of withdraw. But, she had been about a week or so without alcohol, which was an all time record.
And, just like that dark blue bottle, it was shattered.
Her heart thudded in her chest as she raised the bottle once more. This was the end of the two of them, she could feel it. They would waste away forever, drink themselves into a coma, or at least, that's what Lori wanted. Seeing Zach's flash of panic at the foam hitting the ground had reassured her that possibly, he would want that too. Funny, how drinking had brought the two of them together the first time, and now drinking had brought them together again. They had just been fighting, but the wake of both of their angers were washed away with the sea of alcohol warming their toes and stomachs.
Unlike Zach, she did not worry about the others in this moment. Lori, as much as she pretended to be a team player, was very selfish. She cared for herself above all others, and that had been very obvious in the way that she and Zach had been at wits ends with each other just moments ago. Instead of worry about the starving, the dying, the children, she only worried about how she would cure her hangover in the morning. There was no 'maybe' this time. She was being a cold hearted bitch by taking care of her alcoholism above the needs of others. The real needs of others. But, in all honesty, in this moment with Zach so close to her and not pissed off, she did not care.
She gazed at him with a smile on her face as she watched him finish the bottle of bourbon. With these strange bottles, she wasn't sure how much that equated to, but there would be no way that the two of them would get away with drinking this much and eating so little. She smiled and raised her own bottle, which she now noticed was nearly empty, when he finished his own. She raised the broken glass neck to her lips, closing her heavy eyes as she swallowed the remainder in three large gulps. Ahh, just like her college days, and her high school days, and her days leading up to the crash.
Lori laughed, giddy in the moment as he asked if this could be their clubhouse. She moved closer to his side, which didn't take more than a step and a half. This place was small, smelled like dirt, but was perfect in every way. With eyelids lazily resting on her eyes, she smiled up at him and his dark curly hair. "What's our password?" she asked, rather seductively as she blinked at him, eyes full of feigned innocence.
They both knew she was anything other than innocent.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Nov 2, 2015 17:27:52 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Always responsible. Lately he was far from it, but maybe it wasn't his place to care. He wasn't the President of everyone and like everybody else, he often considered whether or not they were all good for dead. So why did anything he did now matter? The burn in his throat felt good and savory. Time to let those thoughts go. Just live.
Lori seemed to have changed attitude, as well, and was no longer looking at him like he was a fresh kill - or soon to be one. The look in her eye was a familiar one, but was it welcome? He'd just convinced himself that getting involved with her may have been a mistake. But there was still that memory of her handing him that bottle of gin. That night was a pinnacle. He had decided that she was company worth having.
The password? He thought of all kinds of responses he could give but a lame one slipped out. "Abstinence," he responded with a raise of his brow. "No one would ever guess."
He placed his recently emptied bottle back where it came from and his eyes searched for another. He felt he knew what was coming next, and part of him was too busy thinking about what she called herself earlier. As his fingers brushed dust off a wine bottle, he asked her something that he was always going to wonder.
"What was your mom like? You mentioned her and I left it alone earlier."
He wasn't ready to bring that up and upset her, but really, Zach wasn't cowardly and he had to get his curiosity satiated. Why would Lori mention her mother in that moment? All of it seemed irrelevant until she referred to herself and her mother as whores.
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Post by sammikay on Nov 2, 2015 20:20:51 GMT -5
Lori felt foggy, but it still wasn't as dark and complete as she was hoping for. They hadn't been down here for long, but they both had finished their respective bottles. She held the glass bottle in her hand, examining it for a long time before dropping it in the corner of the room with a musical clatter. It rolled over to the side of the dusty room, and Lori turned back towards Zach. "Abstinence, I like it," she said with a wink, loving the irony of it all. The two of them were anything but abstinent, which was rather funny considering they were on a deserted island. They should have been worried about living, about surviving, but they (especially Lori) were worried about their addictions. Lori's of cigarettes, alcohol, and men. Especially men.
She could feel the connection between them. The tension was high, and it was only electrified by the alcohol. They were dangerous together. They he was the fire, and she the gasoline, just waiting to ignite. She came back to his side as he picked another bottle. She eyed the wine and she too looked at the bottles. But, as he spoke next, instead of commanding her to take her clothes off like her body ached him to say, he chilled her blood cold. What was your mom like?
Lori didn't look at him, the fog turning into a light mist in her mind as she clutched another bottle. This one had a top which she could just get off with her hands; she pulled the top off, still not looking at him as she closed her eyes, put her wet lips to the tip, and raised the bottle to the small hole which they had crawled down. She dropped the bottle, took the back of her hand and wiped her lips. She finally turned her gaze back on him, her eyes far away as she looked at him.
"My mother is a whore," she spat, rolling her eyes and she took another long drag of the bottle, wishing that she hadn't used up her last cigarette. "She slept around all the time while she was with my dad," she explained, moving away from his side and collapsing on the makeshift bed as she took another drink of the liquid courage. Her words were slurred at the ends, but she seemed focused as she continued to either look at Zach or the bottle in her hand. It was almost like she was angry all over again, but it was obvious that this time she wasn't projecting her feelings on him. She was being angry, and this time, she was just ranting about it instead of taking it out on someone.
"She eventually left my dad and me. And, instead of just continuing to sleep around, she decided she was ready to take care of the family. But, I guess our family wasn't good enough because now she's remarried to some bastard and takes care of his five kids," she explained, looking away from him as a wave of emotion hit her chest, stopping her voice with a clump in her throat. She didn't want to think about her. She didn't want to wonder for the millionth time why she left a little girl with her dad. Why would she leave the two of them, and not even a year later end up marrying this other guy and taking care of his kids like they were saints? She didn't want to question why she wasn't good enough to have a mom.
"So that's that," she finished, taking the longest drag of the bottle yet.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
Template by Kuroya of THQ & GS.
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Post by Clannibal on Nov 17, 2015 13:58:23 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
It was obvious that things between them were back to "normal" as Lori's body language suggested enough. He smelled it in the air. The attraction between the two of them was so hard to resist, especially for him. Even if she insisted she didn't want to love him, how would they ever stop giving in to each other? He wondered if she would end up breaking his heart someday. Even he was just a man.
As soon as he mentioned the unmentionable, she did seem noticeably upset by it, though the reaction was much less intense than he had braced himself for. He found his body turned completely towards her now, his dark eyes studying her expression as she started to open up about her personal life. The story began as he would've expected, but it quickly grew worse. In fact, he decided he hated her mother, too.
As she talked, he had since broken the top of the wine bottle in order to get into its contents. It left sharp edges of broken glass so he had to lift and pour. Wine trickled down a corner of his mouth as Lori finished the story of her family. It was a mess, that's for sure, and Zach felt his heart twisting for her. He was overprotective of Lori, perhaps, but this wasn't something he was sure he could mend for her. He wasn't about to pretend that he understand her deep-rooted pain. Still, men were men, and his manly desire to fix kicked in. He sighed and reached an arm out to place the wine bottle on a shelf close by. At the same time, he was almost scared now, scared that she really was telling the truth when she said she would never love him the way that he was only beginning to love her.
"Thanks for telling me that," he said to her, in a gentle voice that conveyed a side of him that he had not yet really shown her. He kept his eyes trained on her pretty face, almost feeling the anger that was coming off of her in rough waves. "I understand a little better now...why I scared you with what I...said."
He wasn't even sure how he was supposed to approach this subject with her. She was wounded and that much was obvious. Did she need comfort, or would pity piss her off? It wasn't like it was something tangible anymore, now that they were stranded on this island together, possibly to never see her mother again. Maybe that weighed on her mind, too. Zach knew his family was haunting him, and he hadn't been through anything like she had.
"It's usually the wounded people that do such...wounded things," he noted, thinking now of Lori and how she'd admitted his choice of words had really scared her off. His eyes darted back to the shelves, looking mindlessly at the rows and rows of meticulously bottled liquors. "When does the cycle break? Maybe someday when you're with me, you'll feel something. You're shitty mom took that away from you."
He grunted with a moment's surge of anger and reached back for the wine bottle he'd set down, and downed a little more of it. He was not sure what else could be said, or what he even wanted to say. The story left him feeling wounded, too. It made him feel useless. What he really wanted to say was, You know I wouldn't leave you like she left your dad. But maybe that wasn't what scared her. Could be the other way around? Zach felt scared of that, too.
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Post by sammikay on Nov 17, 2015 20:23:10 GMT -5
Lori felt tears crawl up into her eyes. She choked them back with more alcohol, knowing that she couldn't let Zach see her cry once more. That bitch had left, and Lori needed to get over it. She couldn't even remember very well that her mom had left. She just knew what it had been like growing up without a mother, to go through puberty and to deal with being a girl without someone to guide you. She knew what it was like to question each Mother's day why she hadn't been good enough to be her mom's kid, to question why the five other kids that weren't even her's was good enough to receive her love but Lori wasn't. She took a longer draw of the bottle, shaking her head as the burning of it lit her throat on fire. She felt nausea crawl into her head and stomach, so she quickly set the bottle down. She watched him, a small hand spread across her stomach as she tried to hold everything down. The pity that she felt from him grew like wildfire in her stomach and she couldn't help the grimace that crossed her lips. She knew that he was trying to be gentile with her now, but the sweetness of his tone turned sour as she digested it. She wanted nothing but to forget this, to forget the conversation of her mother. She was on a deserted island now where she would never have to worry about seeing her mom again. She shivered, thinking of the last time she had seen her mom. Was she wounded like Zach said? Searching within herself, she decided that she was. She had a gaping wound that wasn't ever going to heal. She made sure to continually rip the bandages off, to irritate the wound whenever she could. She didn't want to be her mother. She didn't want to meet someone like her mother. She turned her face back up at Zach to look at him when he asked her when the cycle would break. When would she feel something for him? How the hell was she supposed to know!?! She had spent 24 years loving only herself; she was not ready to love anyone else. She was selfish, and she liked it that way. Lori took a seat against the wall, still holding onto her stomach. The nausea mixed itself in her stomach, but this was a strange wave. She didn't feel like the alcohol had caused this feeling. But, she just looked away, closing her eyes for a long moment. "Just forget I said anything," she whispered, amazed at how loud her soft whisper was in the quiet. It had to have been getting close to night now. The light that came from above was dimming, the sky turning a gray color. She looked at Zach for a long moment and then down to her stomach. "Let's get something to eat; I'm hungry," she said finally, obviously dismissing the subject. She took a deep breath and tried to right the moment to what she wanted. "And then after dinner you can treat me to some of that 'abstinence'," she said with a coy smile that didn't reach her eyes. Those still held pain and hurt as she moved towards the hole they had shimmied down. | | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is getting through not having any more cigarettes, and is facing early signs of pregnancy now. | |
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