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Post by Clannibal on Oct 13, 2015 20:45:18 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Zach had always been more of the extroverted type. Socializing was a normal part of his psyche. But today, not too long after the hurricane, he wanted desperately to be alone. Get away from everyone. It was late afternoon and the sun was just beginning its descent. The air was muggy and he was sweating as he walked along the ever-alive jungle floor.
His mind was clouded with a million thoughts. Most of them made him anxious, and only one in particular actually felt good for the soul. The latter was of how lucky he and his little brother were. Joey had turned up alive in the caves, and Zach felt some inner peace return to him after the discovery. Everyone was getting restless, though, talking of leaving the caves and resettling back on their spot towards the beach. The idea of it angered and, in a way, offended him. How stupid could people get? It never seemed to end. The chances of them being rescued now were even slimmer than before. He felt there was nothing ahead of them now but survival.
He thought, too, of Lori, and what he'd done to her. He still felt little trace of regret over the ordeal. Putting her through that pain was, in his mind, a necessity. He remembered her saying that she wouldn't be able to do the act of disinfecting on her own. Still, the scene kept replaying in his mind, over and over, while he sometimes daydreamed of their one time encounter, too. That, at least, was pleasant, even if he had been drunk for majority of that night.
He contemplated what kind of person he would be in a few years.
If he ever made it home, he knew he'd be a different man. And it had barely been over a week since this all started.
The jungle suddenly seemed to grow a bit sparse here, just in a small area. It opened up to a clearing of sand, with one lone palm tree in its center. Zach stood there for a moment, staring at the palm tree, feeling anxiety gripping at his chest. How could he be so anxious when Joey was back? Shouldn't that make everything better? But it didn't. Everyday he dealt with fear, anger, hunger, addiction, and sadness. None of it seemed to be getting better, only worse. Hearing Lori's screams may have broken the ice over the trauma he had been suppressing. There was the old man he'd helped on day one, his chest ripped open with no chance of recovery. Zach had held his hand while the man died. It was one of those rare moments when Zach was tender and full of compassion.
But it still hurt to think about it. He couldn't imagine going through that with someone he actually knew.
A seagull squawked loudly and fluttered in front of him, landing by the palm tree. It brought Zach out of his brooding. He was reminded of how hungry he felt. Everyone was back at the fishing and fruit-hunting. That bird looked mighty tasty...
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Post by sammikay on Oct 13, 2015 21:30:12 GMT -5
Lori had spent the day on the beach after the hurricane, looking for food an all kinds of things to keep her mind busy. It hadn't been long before she really noticed that her arms were getting better. Just the one day had already helped the skin go from an angry red to a dark pink. It would only be getting better from his help, and Lori didn't really want to admit that. She had been so angry with him, and she was very good at holding grudges. All she really wanted was her cigarette that she had left back in the caves, which was the reason she was returning back to them.
"Where the fuck am I?" she grumbled under her breath, running her hand through her hair. She knew of the general direction she was supposed to go into, but she really wasn't entirely sure where or how far the caves were. She was running on luck, palm hearts, and a few mussels she still had from moving around on the beach. She dunked her hand into her makeshift bag made from her shirt and extracted a palm heart. She could not thank Nix enough for showing her how to get those. Without that weird redhead, she would be starving.
The jungle was a nice break from everything. She enjoyed the sounds of the animals, never having grown up with too many exotic outside sounds. She listened as monkeys called back and forth to one another and some weird kind of bird chirped in between. The cacophony surrounding her provided her with enough white noise to gently sing to herself. She realized just then how much she missed music.
She had never been one for movies or TV, but she could remember thousands of times that she would lay in bed for hours, completely drowned out in her music. "Now wait, wait, wait for me. Please hang around," she sang gently, continuing her way through the dense jungle, picking up a few things that caught her attention here and there. "Say my name, say my name, when no one is around you," she sang after losing the lyrics to the last one. That would drive her insane, only knowing a few lines of a song. She didn't have the radio to sing along to or anything else to help her. But, she continue singing, knowing more lyrics to this song than the one before.
Before she realized it, she stumbled into the same clearing and saw the person responsible for her healing arms. She immediately ceased her singing and stared at him as if she had just ran into him after being gone for months. She felt mixed emotions over him right now. Lori appreciated him trying to heal here, but she was still pissed about no longer having her bottle of gin and the burning fire that had ran through her.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She only has three more bottles of alcohol that she had stuffed into her very small bag that had held nothing more than cigarettes and her passport. She's very quick to anger right now, and really isn't dealing with anyone's bullshit very well. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 13, 2015 22:32:03 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
The seagull flew away, leaving him alone again. He was hungry enough to have actually considered trying to catch it. After that, well, he would've crossed that bridge at its proper time. Maybe trying raw bird would be a nice distraction from his inner chaos. At this point, he'd done crazier things.
His thoughts wavered once more... No matter how justified he felt, what would life be like at this moment if he had taken the gin as a true gift - just guzzled it then and there? Lori would be happy, but would she be alive? He could never know for sure. Not knowing bothered him. Why was he even still thinking about it? Normally, after being a justified dick, he was able to move on with his life. Things like that didn't get under his skin.
The breeze ruffled his hair and it tickled his eyes. He needed a haircut, he thought as he closed his dark eyes and used his fingers to flick it off of his forehead. Moments later, when he opened them, he caught the sight of a familiar person traipsing out into the same clearing. His heart skipped a few beats and he felt himself stiffen with tension. She seemed equally surprised to see him, but it was unclear exactly what she thought of him being here.
He had not seen her for a while now and just knowing she was alive and well actually put his mind at instant ease. Raion had told him how she had stormed off into the rain that night, leaving them all behind in her anger. Zach was left wondering about her, just as he had been merely moments ago. Deep down inside, he knew she'd turn up just fine, but it was still...scary. He blinked as his eyes softened just a bit and a smirk took hold of his plump lips. He just couldn't help himself sometimes.
"You look great," he said to her, looking her up and down as if they hadn't been together in weeks. It was all he really offered, since he got the feeling she was still pissed at him. It had to be the reason she hadn't come back to the cave just yet. What had she been up to, anyway?
"I'm glad," he added after a momentary silence, his gaze growing just a bit more serious as his smile faded. It occurred to him then that she didn't even know what kind of stuff he'd personally been through since their incident. He was a different man once again. He crossed his arms and waited patiently for her reaction. Would she storm off? Walk over and slap him? Or something just completely unexpected? Meanwhile, he couldn't help but look at her arms, too.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 14, 2015 14:35:35 GMT -5
Lori watched his face, noticing the changes in him. First he was surprised, but then he gained back that shit-eating smirk. With little finesse, Lori shadowed his appearance and cross her arms over her chest. She wasn't shy, so it didn't bother her that she only wore her bra as a top, especially around a man that she had sex with before. Her confidence was at an all time high now that she had found some palm hearts on her own, mussels, and a chip of sharp metal she could use as a makeshift knife.
"I always look great," she added, rather haughtily, her head turning just a bit as she took her typical I-don't-give-a-fuck stance, which included one hip popped, arms crossed, narrowed eyes, and cocked head. She allowed the silence to stretch on a bit after he said that he was glad she was okay. Of course he was glad. He had been the one to poor liquid fire down her skin. She was ultimately happy that he had done what he did. She was already feeling a lot better, and the developing fever broke last night. Although, she would not allow Zach to see that she was happy. He had been a complete ass and had seemed so nonchalant about the whole affair. He had even made it sound like she was weak for feeling the pain of it all. She wasn't about to easily forgive him after that.
"You look terrible," she added in, noting his wild-man appearance. She had the chance to wash off in the rain, and having spent all day out on the beach, had even got a nice little glow. He on the other hand seemed like he had rolled in the cave mud. Or, at least, she liked to imagine that he had. She could also notice the facial hair was more than just an itchy stubble now. She held her head high though, still finding him extremely attractive in her core despite the wild animal that stood in front of her now.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She only has three more bottles of alcohol that she had stuffed into her very small bag that had held nothing more than cigarettes and her passport. She's very quick to anger right now, and really isn't dealing with anyone's bullshit very well. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 14, 2015 17:32:14 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Her body language was something he read, loud and clear. She crossed her arms in a manner even more aloof than his own. Immediately he uncrossed them as she did so. But his eyes went towards the focal point of most men; to the breasts squished against her forearms. An odd mixture of feelings actually took all traces of his smirk away for a moment. Did she really walk around like that all the time out here? How many other guys had she slept with by now? Why did he care, anyway? She was just a passing stranger. One that he'd ferociously made drunken love to and then managed to piss off the next day.
He had a big mood swing after her haughty comment. It was funny to hear it come from her. She really was proud of herself, wasn't she? The confidence was attractive and it pissed him off at the same time. Sexy or not, she had the bite of a rattlesnake. Beautiful markings that drew you in, then a fatal bite when you got too close. The smile came back to him as he knew he once again could trust his instincts on this one. He'd been worried about her, but not lacking in enough confidence to seek her out.
Did he look terrible? Zach wasn't vain as far as it went in narcissistic terms. It was always his mother or girlfriends that pestered him to dress up when they went out. The comment didn't offend him, but then, he doubted she really expected that on his part. It was just a vent for her anger. He prepared himself for a slew of feminine insults.
"Hmm. I don't know. You didn't look so great the other night when I poured a present on you," he said with arrogance. His eyes locked on to hers. Despite knowing it'd add fuel to the fire, he couldn't help but get a word in edgewise. He wanted to pop her down from that high horse she was on. His gut told him that this was all on the surface, and hopefully not much more of her personality was shallow, too. Zach was irritating, but he loved character depth. Depth meant he could explore. He could nitpick.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 14, 2015 20:22:14 GMT -5
She was watching him carefully and got a sense of satisfaction when that horribly annoying smirk left his face. She could see where his eyes were going, and she knew in that moment that he was just like any other guy. He let his other head rule him, and with that she rolled her eyes. But, in all honesty, was she any different? Many of her motivations came from wanting to sleep with a man. For a moment, she wondered what he was thinking, but he quickly informed her when bringing up the alcohol incident.
Her eyes narrowed further, and she walked closer, arms swinging at her sides as she got within a half foot of him. She knew what she had looked like. Almost if by third person, she could see her shriveled body screeching as the gin poured down her open wounds. She wished that she had poured the gin down her throat to heal her internal wounds. Deep down she wanted to reach out and deliver a hard smack to his cheek to wipe off that arrogance, but she really wasn't one to hit others unless threatened. And much to her dismay, Zach only brought up moments to embarrass her.
Lori had never really gotten in many embarrassing situations before. She tended to own a lot of control over herself, which led to being in control of many situations in her favor. Unfortunately, with her being so detached of herself, she had lost a lot of control of the situations here on the island. Loss of control was something she enjoyed when it came to alcohol or drugs, but when it came to situations she found herself in, she didn't enjoy spontaneity quite as much.
"You're right," she began, voice very clear and smooth as she looked him in his painfully obnoxious, gorgeous face. "I was a little upset that you decided to pour out my last bottle of my favorite alcohol," she finished, notably leaving out that he had most likely saved her life. She wasn't about to admit that to his face. "Here I thought we were going to get drunk..." she said, taking the pissed off look on her face away and replacing it with soft eyes and a slight pout to her lips. She knew exactly how to play. "...And have a repeat of our first night together," she ended, looking back up at him, obviously crossing her arms over her chest again. "But, I guess you didn't want that. You wanted to piss me off," she finished, raising her eyebrows as if challenging him.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 14, 2015 22:15:05 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Lori Glory. He coined a new nickname for her as she was reacting to his harsh words with unexpected dignity. She in all her glory was something to be reckoned with. For someone who looked like a train wreck when he'd first met her, he couldn't have known how independent she would actually be. He felt more attracted to her right now than he had when they were drunk, as she walked up to him and into his personal space. His chest surged with energy, his eyes crawling down to her torso, inches away from his. She was teasing him. He felt teased, anyway.
She was determined to be mad at him, but he was just delighted that she was talking to him. Not that he'd ever say sorry. Why say sorry when he wouldn't even be sincere about it?
She began to speak and he looked back to her with almost a wary gaze. At this point, he expected to be slapped, but instead she just spoke in a tone that sounded like ice splintering into sharp edges. It was enough to make somebody shiver. He held his ground, while she seemed to switch dispositions extremely quickly. He grew confused as her eyes softened. More teasing, now verbal, as she taunted him with the way that night could have ended; how he had wanted it to. The sexual tension was killing him. He started to lose focus of the conversation.
He had no idea what she was trying to do, or what she was thinking, and it annoyed him. He always wanted to know what someone was up to. The hunt to find out made him crazy when he hit a dead end. But how could a guy say no to someone like her? So he just went right along with her idea.
"We could have angry sex," he suggested, giving a noncommittal shrug. He was obviously a little strung out by the memories, but completely confused by her attitude in this moment. But, stubbornly, he wasn't about to back down, even if she was playing some kind of game. Women were confusing sometimes.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 17, 2015 9:41:09 GMT -5
Games were her specialty. The chase was the best part of dating and being on the prowl with men. She played hard to get, only for the fun she got out of it. It never made the sex any better, but it was just funny seeing men crawl with anxiety about her being so in control. Maybe that was kind of sadistic on her part, but honestly, she didn't give a shit. She got what she wanted and that was really all that mattered to her.
And, in this moment, she was playing with Zach. She was using his desires, and admittedly her own desires, against him. She, as much as he did, wanted that night with the gin to be incredibly different. She had cared that he had shared about his brother's death, and she had wanted to show him that she sympathized with him in the best way that she could. Having been a girl without care for others, it had been difficult for her to give that gin to him, and there he went pouring it down her arms. She knew that ultimately, he probably saved her life. The infection had been spreading, and when he had poured the gin down her, the wounds had been angry red with traces of white. Give it a few more days and there would have been red veins spreading from it to her heart, she was sure.
But, despite all this, Lori was still pissed. Grudges were her specialty. She still remembered every evil act upon her, and was sure to extort it whenever she felt threatened. She was quick as a whip when it came to slashing out with emotional attacks. She knew what made people tick, and she didn't really care to be sensitive about that when she was at the butt end of a situation.
But, in this moment, she really just wanted her cigarette. It was her last one, and after all this, she deserved it. Coming back into the moment she smiled when he mentioned angry sex. That was one of her favorite kinds of sex, but unfortunately, he wasn't going to win this fight. Lori deserved this win more than he did. She tilted her head as if considering this, and then at the snap of a finger her expression changed once more. She went from sexy, flirty, and playful to angry, mean, and back in control, which arguably could be sexy too (if you liked a woman in control, that is). "You'd like that, wouldn't you," she said, kind of harshly, as if he were the one addicted to her instead of the other way around. She knew that she wanted him as much as he had probably wanted her a moment before. But, she had to fight that. She was going to win this.
"I'm actually going back to get my cigarette, so have fun scavenging," she said off-handedly, waving back at him as she walked away from him. She stuck her hand into her shirt pouch again, grabbing a palm heart and putting it into her mouth. She knew that he was probably watching her walk away, and she felt very much in control with wearing only her lacy bra and panties and her lower back tattoo sticking out. She even put a little extra into her hips as she walked away, not daring to look back at him.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 18, 2015 12:24:40 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Maybe it was a relief to have her say no. He wasn't in the best frame of mind, anyway. Meeting Lori here was a quick change of pace to distract him from what had happened back in the cave. But now he was remembering how desperately he'd wanted to be out here to get away from people. He looked unhappy as she turned her back to him after her nasty outburst, but it wasn't because they weren't indulging one another a second time.
She really was going to hate him eternally, eh? He'd not known her long but somehow he'd felt it'd crash and burn like this. She was a pretty self-centered piece of work. Zach usually hated people like her. But...no. He then remembered those moments before the pain, when she handed him that bottle and he had struggled not to cry. She actually gave him a moment to grieve for his own loss. It was an act of friendship that no one else had offered him on this island.
He barely seemed to hear her mention her cigarette. His mind was elsewhere. Suddenly he was terrified of her walking away before he could talk about Joey. So, he called out to her.
"Wait!" he snapped, before she was out of sight. "Don't go." His voice sounded uncharacteristically emotional. No pretenses, just raw Zachary. He stood in the sand and resembled just a shell of his usual confidence. Lori was the only person he felt comfortable with and it was almost like he'd forgotten that until she started walking away. For the first time he was actually really scared of something. The numbness was starting to disappear, and he felt human again. Perhaps it was just Lori that triggered such a response.
"I found my brother. He's alive." He had a frown on his face where there should be a happy smile. He waited for Lori, wondering if she would turn and look at him, or if she'd keep going. The latter would prove his biggest fear; that she really didn't care. For some reason, that was painful to think of. But no, it couldn't be possible. Not after the way her fingers had so gently pried open his own to give him his gift. That moment was pivotal.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 18, 2015 23:41:34 GMT -5
Maybe it was just her lack of a cigarette talking, but she felt that he hadn't really cared that she denied him. She was still proudly sitting on her high horse, wanting him to feel bad for what he had done, but he had seemed a little relieved at what she said. What did that mean? Did he really not want her anymore after pouring that gin on her? He had almost seemed happy that she hadn't taken him up on his idea of having angry sex. She rolled this over in her head for a moment, actually feeling rather shitty for not being sought after like she was accustomed to. Why would he be relieved? She struggled with this idea, having no clue why he would actually be happy that she wasn't having sex with him...Was she really that disgusting to him?
She stopped when he said wait, but she did not turn around. Instead she wondered what his face looked like in that moment. Was he about to say that he actually did want her, that he had just been trying to get under her skin again? But, the moment he allowed "don't go" to slip out of his lips, she did turn. His voice had been so much different than what she was used to. He sounded like a child: hurt, and scared. She was not a sympathizer, but there was just something about Zach that turned her into a huge softy. She saw his face, the emotion beneath it. Lori stepped forward, quietly returning to him as she examined his face, wondering what it was that he had been thinking of so passionately that gave him this response. He seemed lost, completely beside himself. She swallowed, unsure of what she thought of him in this moment.
Was this what she had looked like when he found her? She knew, in this moment, that Zach was a much better person than she was. Sure, he tried to hide under the tough-guy exterior, but she knew that if she had been Zach, she would have left her shriveled up crying on the beach. Looking at him now, she felt like she needed to escape, but her body would not listen to her as she stood before him, seeing this raw moment. She would have left if she hadn't felt such a strong pull towards Zach.
"Wait, what?" she whispered, more to herself than to him. He found his brother? And he was alive?! That's great news, yet he stood there without a smile, without even a positive spin of emotion. "That's great," she offered him, giving a tiny smile. She was still pissed at him, but in this moment it was hard to hold onto that grudge. For once, someone else mattered more than herself. He had suffered incredibly, and here he was with his brother back. Yet, he looked very upset by this fact. "Why aren't you with him?" she asked finally, looking at him for a very long moment before looking away.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 19, 2015 13:26:02 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Talking without some kind of sarcasm was not easy for a guy like him. Was it easy for any guy to talk about what he felt? His cousins had usually just hid their fears under their crazy laughter and drinking. He couldn't recall many serious conversations meant for condolences. So now that he had Lori's attention, he felt at a loss for more words.
His eyes were troubled, dark and stormy like when they first met, and he watched her face in an attempt to read it. She seemed as surprised as he still felt, but her eyes were searching, too. He had not really thought about how disappointed he was coming across. It must be confusing. Well, yeah...it was confusing for himself, too, he also noted.
He shrugged a bit at her question. Joey seemed to finally be in a place where Zach was able to slip away for a bit. "It is great, but he's pretty messed up. He was throwing rocks at me, might've killed me if it had hit the right spot." As he spoke, he pulled his shirt collar back to show Lori the ugly bruise from where the rock made contact. Joey had a good throw that meant buisness. He didn't feel it was broken, but it hurt enough to move that muscle right now. "He was screaming crazy stuff, too. I guess he has been traumatized...worse than any of us. It was terrifying to see him like that."
His eyes bored into hers, though she had looked away by now. It was nice of her to at least give him this time of day. He was glad she didn't keep walking. "The scariest shit is to see someone you love in pain," he added, in a tone that was pointed and spilling over with hyped-up emotion. Almost angry, but more like passionate. He actually took a step away from her as if he had to protect her from himself. "I thought watching strangers die was bad enough. Imagine watching someone you know keel over. First I was scared for you, and now I've got Joey."
The unspoken point he was making; he hadn't been prepared for this. It was easier when he had nobody attached to him. Suddenly Lori was in his life, and all he had been thinking about was her, especially the idea of her dying. Then Joey showed up, more of a mess than anyone who'd survived. Maybe it would've been easier if his brother had died. No more suffering.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 19, 2015 16:15:06 GMT -5
As much as Zach felt at a lost, Lori was right there with him, walking along the same curvy, unexplored path. She felt so many emotions for him at this current moment that she no longer really knew what to do. This island had changed her, and for the better or worse, she was not sure. She would have kept walking. She would have moved to the next person to keep her company. But, here she stood, staring in to his eyes and for once, seeing more than just someone that she could take advantage of. She was seeing a mess of a person. Was this what she had looked like that night that the two of them met? She swallowed hard, allowing her eyes to drop and she walked back. This wasn't sorry, but it was forgiveness.
She watched his face as he talked about Joey, and when he pulled the collar of his shirt down she felt her throat clench. She would have gasped, but she wasn't that dramatic. Although, she did reach up with her gentle fingers and touched just to the side of the bruise. She wondered if Zach had felt the intense nauseated feeling in his stomach when he looked at her arms as she did now when looking at his bruises. She wanted to heal him, to take him to a doctor, but here they both stood, alone, on a deserted island that was quickly coming to the realization that help was not on the way. She wondered how scared this child had to have been to throw a rock at his own brother.
That was when he mentioned that Joey had also been saying crazy things. Traumatized was the word he used. She had to agree that this small boy had to feel this way to throw rocks, to hurt others. She knew that everyone on this island was hurting, but to hurt someone else without good intentions? Lori, the ball of mixed emotions that she was, was just about to reach out and embrace Zach. But, just as she moved to do so he moved away from her, seemingly furious. The scariest shit is to see someone you love in pain.
She could imagine that it would be incredibly scary. Here she was, not in love with Zach, and she was scared for his pain that he had for his brother. She glanced away, but then when he spoke again, her blood ran cold. First I was scared for you...The scariest shit is to see someone you love in pain...First I was scared for you.... Did Zach just mean to make that connection? She couldn't help be be selfish in this moment, unable to get out of her mind what he implied, whether purposefully or subconsciously. She could feel her heart thick with discomfort, her stomach churning not because she was hungry, but because someone had implied that they loved her.
As she stood watching Zach, her eyes went distant with a memory from her early teenage years. She could see herself, pure skin without a single tattoo, and she could see him. She swallowed hearing him say "I love you, Lori," as he held her close beneath the covers that they had shared their first time ever with. She immediately stood up, pushing the covers back as she quickly dressed, not caring as the pain in her lower stomach ached. "I have to go," she spit out to the boy in her bed, angry and upset as she relived the moment that he has whispered his love for her. "Wait, Lori, what did I do?" the young boy asked, rushing after her, nearly tripping as he pulled up his briefs. "You do not love me," she hissed back, slamming the door behind her as she rushed away.
She wasn't sure what pulled her back into the moment, but all she knew was that her blood had gone cold, her head was spinning, and she really, really needed that cigarette now. "I hope everything works out," she managed to squeak out between the bitterness in her mouth. "Let's go get my cigarette," she finally said, her gentleness and her moment of care for Zach gone with the breeze as she turned on her heel to head back towards the caves.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 19, 2015 17:13:13 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Time stopped for them and Zach got lost in the moment. All while he spoke, he kept his eyes on her face and barely saw all of her changing expressions. He just let the words about as he thought of them. He hoped to connect with her, be honest about why he'd done what he did to her arms. After he finished speaking, Lori seemed distant. The seconds dragged on and Zach felt an uneasy feeling crawl down his spine. The look in her eyes was vacant. He didn't know what to expect from her, but he at least thought she'd be saying something. He just admitted that he cared about what happened to her. Cared very dearly. Perhaps more than he wanted. It warranted some kind of emotion from this fiery-tempered woman.
Damn, he'd used the word love without thought. Did he love this girl? He barely knew her, so that couldn't be possible. Still, he remembered the pact he made with himself moments before deciding to take care of her infected arms. No matter how much she hated him for it, he knew he'd rather see her angry face around then have to bury her in the cold dirt. Yes, he loved Lori. He was just discovering what kind of love he was feeling. The sex had complicated things, perhaps. It was good and they just seemed to mesh and clash and love and hate all at the same time. They were both such weak people.
She turned away from him and Zach stood in place, watching her walk, running her tone of voice and words over in his head. Was she angry? Sad? Scared? He couldn't tell, and Zach hated not knowing. So, he followed after her, despite still feeling incredibly lonely and more confused than moments before she arrived in his line of sight.
He said nothing as he walked just behind her. It was unusual for him to run his mouth so much like he had. He'd always relied on his rationality...or at least, he thought so. The situation with Logan had been similar, though. He made conclusions and insights that pushed on his heartstrings and suddenly the situation had become an emotional one.
Oh well. No matter what happened, he would try and remember his new mantra; keep the ones you love alive, no matter the cost. Looks like the cost could be high.
"Are you okay, Lori?" he piped up behind her, lifting his eyes to look at the curve of her back. Again, uncharacteristically caring of him, unlike his usual sarcasm.
He remembered where her things had been kept, back in the cave. He'd gladly give her the last cigarette she had, hidden away now with his own things, so nobody would find and steal them. Zach was considerate like that. Sometimes. Almost never. What kind of person was he becoming? Whatever. He wanted desperately to know what made her so suddenly distant and bitterly cold. The game of the chase helped distract him from the sudden feeling of a tight chest and a hopeless depression, threatening to take him back to the darkness in his heart.
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Post by sammikay on Oct 19, 2015 18:46:02 GMT -5
The silence stretched on, and all Lori was able to do was think. She was lost in time, remembering several instances where she had ran away from the word 'love'. Caught in a memory, Lori reached up and rubbed her temple, body begging for that cigarette now. She wanted to be there for Zach, really, but he had done the one thing she could not accept. He hadn't out right said it, but he had meant it. Hadn't he?
"Lori, I mean it, I love you!" he had called to her, grabbing her wrist and turning her frail teenage body to face him. "We've just shared a really special moment together, what's wrong?" he begged of her, bright boyish eyes full of alarm as he looked at Lori as she still dressed herself. "You don't love me," she hissed back, whipping her hand out of his own. The young boy frowned, chasing after her. "What do you mean?" he begged, voice thick with emotion. Young Lori turned on her heel, stared him in the eyes and said as flat she she could, "My mother said she loved me. Now where is she? Taking care of some other idiot's family, because my dad and I weren't good enough. She doesn't love me, and neither do you, Jackson."
With that, she had slammed the front door of her first lover's parent's home. She had walked down the street, returned home to her dad, and had never talked to the boy again. They had dated for at least a year before indulging in that moment, and she had just thrown it all away, all because he had said he loved her.
Lori shook her head, fists clenching as she continued walking. She had almost forgotten that Zach was following her. All she wanted to do was hit something. He had implied that he loved her, and she didn't have the option of running away like she always had in the past when someone had tried to admit love to her. Love was a dark word, a word that Lori had never used for anyone other than her dad. And even then, she had only said it once: when her mother had left him.
She stopped when Zach spoke, turning slowly to look at him. She didn't know what to say to him in this moment. No, she wasn't okay. She would never be okay with him saying he loved her, or even implying it as he had. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need a cigarette," she said. In that moment, she knew that she had just told her first lie of potentially many with Zach, and it put a bitter taste on her tongue. She didn't want to lie, but she couldn't escape like she was accustomed to. She needed her escape.
She turned back around before waiting for him to pry more. "We're close, right?" she asked, moving forward much faster than she had been before, as if she could outrun him. It was laughable that all she wanted was to get as far away from him as possible, yet she hadn't been her typically self in doing that. She was changed, and it was killing her that she couldn't just drop him like she wanted to. Her hands had become clammy, the back of her neck red and sweaty with distress. She lifted her hair off her shoulders, quickly taking her ascot off her thigh and tying it up so that the back of her neck would cool down. She was having a physical reaction to her emotional distress, and for once, she didn't want Zach's help with it. He had just changed everything.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
Template by Kuroya of THQ & GS.
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Post by Clannibal on Oct 19, 2015 19:32:25 GMT -5
| if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you [HASH]Zach |
Thinking back on it, the conversation they had on the beach that day was such an open and honest one, in a lot of ways. They looked at each other and, at least on his end, felt some kind of instant connection. He knew she was a kindred spirit. So, they talked about their life, and Lori revealed so much about her own lifestyle. She had chosen to trust Zach with her addiction, and he turned around and shared in it with her. Then, they let themselves have some fun. He'd made it clear he wanted her, and she'd made it clear that she always got what she wanted regardless of the man. After all that talk and banter, he'd dragged her to the trees and loved all over her like it had been a first date.
Where was that trust now? That honesty they'd shared? Zach had really gotten himself mixed up in a spider's web. Lori Glory was not out to find love and companionship. She wanted sex and Zach had conveniently been there for the taking. At first he thought that was his only goal, too. Then he stumbled upon her showering in the hurricane rain.
Now, Zach watched her falling apart. She looked like the way he felt every night before he fell asleep. Sleep was the worst thing now, full of pain and longing and fear. Dreams woke him frequently, typical nightmares of screeching metal and shattering bones; everybody had those dreams. But the worst thing were the shivers. Uncontrollable to a point. He wanted nothing but some kind of fix. He wasn't even a drug user, but he knew at this point, he'd become anything, use anything, when he was all alone in the night and needed to escape his thoughts. It was awful, and he wondered why Lori was so triggered in this moment as she stopped to give him an unreadable look.
"Yeah...sure. You look totally fine," he mumbled back in response, picking up a little of his usual sass. The woman picked up speed and Zach just about had to run to keep up with her. He wondered if Joey would see him and if he'd have to stay behind while Lori wandered off again. He was torn between the care of two people and he didn't like it. Maybe he could get her to stick around the caves like originally planned.
The cave was ahead of them now, but Zach was too focused on staring at the back of Lori's body. She was drenched in sweat, and covered in red skin. She was having a breakdown. At this point, anyone could tell. Best she get the cigarette asap. He slipped around her, bounding into the cave and ignoring the faces of those in there. At this time of day, most everybody was out getting food and such, leaving mostly the wounded and elderly. He floated towards the far end of the room and reached around a hidden nook. He kept his things out of sight on purpose. Everything was untouched. He'd put the cigarette under a small rock near his bag, and when he lifted it, it was still there.
He was glad. What would've happened if she found out it was gone? All chances of his forgiveness would be gone, surely. He turned around and looked for her. Had she followed him? Also, he didn't see Joey at the moment. Part of him was glad. Now was a bad time to meet Lori..
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