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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2015 21:00:24 GMT -5
JOEY
It had been with great hesitation that Joey had left the safety of the caves... and the side of his brother. Since finding him he had been glued to Zach's side yet the voices never left him. The care he'd received once he'd joined the rest of the group had helped some, yes, but the nagging guilt remained. He had been suffocating under the pressure of trying to act normal around the others. The reassurance that they weren't dead as he had told himself before had barely begun to fade once the hurricane passed and the others started to go outside. It was then that he found himself distancing himself from his brother and the others in his group- just for a short time. His group... Zach's group... it still didn't feel like Joey belonged there. The boy felt like he was caught in some weird limbo. Between what he knew was real and what he told himself was real to cope with what he had to do to survive on his own. So now he sat crouched over the edge of the water, staring at the reflection that he didn't recognize. His wild wavy dark locks were matted with dirt and debris, his face and body smeared with god-only knows, his clothes ragged and torn and coated in dried blood and vomit that the rain of the rain hadn't been able to wash away. He knew he should wash himself but an anxiety hit him every time he neared the water. Right now it was as if the dirt was hiding him- the real him... but what if he washed it all away and the horrible things didn't wash away too? What if he was broken forever and his brother found out and hated him so much that he left him on this island? He curled against himself, pressing his forehead to his knees as he stayed balanced on the rocks on the shore. Tears dampened his cheeks, hidden by his arms and pants as he stayed like that for several minutes. Dry, empty sobs silently escaping him as the sounds of the jungle echoed against the rocky landscape around the lagoon. It was as if the entire world was laughing at the reality he'd created for himself. The warped reflection of himself sat atop the water, mocking him as he cried. Joey wanted to scream back at it- to tell it to go away... but he had to pretend. He had to ignore it and act like he was normal again. He dug his fingers into his hair, escaping into the dark place in his mind while no one could see him before he knew he would have to rejoin his brother and the others who had survived the crash... and him. Suffers from sever PTSD and hallucinations.Prone to violence. You have been warned. | If We All Light Up We can Scare Away the Dark |
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Post by sammikay on Oct 22, 2015 8:29:25 GMT -5
Lori was struggling again. Imagine that. Each day seemed to get harder survival wise, and each day brought a new complication between her and Zach. How could one person be so infuriating? Maybe she was a little hypocritical, considering that Lori too was incredibly maddening as well. She had always been that way, so maybe that was the reason she could not see it in herself now. She had opened up to him, as best as she could, and all they could do was fight with one another. And the worst part was that she couldn't run away this time.
But, she had tried. Strapping up the tennis shoes that she had stolen from one of the bodies, Lori had gone for a run. It was the first one that she had gone on since the crash, and it felt great. The sweat poured down her from the heat, and every once in a while a wave would crash by and lap at her ankles as she ran along the packed sand. After what she thought was a good run was finished, Lori retreated back into the jungle to find that lagoon.
She needed to wash away the sweat, the tears that threatened to break from her eyes, and the memories of her and Zach's latest fight. She had never been to the lagoon before, but when she had been hanging out in the caves, she had heard others talking about it. She needed to go there for some peace and solitude. Finding it proved to be much harder than she had initially expected, but after searching around in the jungle, she had finally stumbled into the clearing of the lagoon.
She had immediately moved to go towards the water for a dip, but she stopped cold in her tracks at finding a curly haired boy. Zach. No that couldn't be. This figure was so much smaller than the man that she had grown close to. But, they looked so similar, even as this form curled up and was crying. Was this Joey? Lori swallowed hard, staring at the back of this little boy's head, unsure of what she should do. As she looked at his crouched form, all she could think of was the dark purple bruise that Zach had shown her earlier.
She wasn't as strong as Zach was. What would happen if he threw a rock at her? He was unstable, dangerous. She turned to leave, hoping to be as quiet as possible so that she did not alert him to her presence. She couldn't do this, not without Zach here. But, as she turned in her retreat, she accidentally kicked a stone that then went hopping down until it plopped into the water. She turned back with wide eyes, locking down on the curly haired boy.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2015 15:30:57 GMT -5
JOEY
The sound of stone skidding across the earth caused him to still. It was like he'd been caught in the headlights and was waiting for the oncoming truck to end it all. Slowly though he would retract from the panicked state, his red puffy eyes flitting over his surroundings for the source. Once Lori was spotted he would find himself staring. A whirlwind of emotions flew through him as he tried to gauge what to do... or, more, what was expected of him. His brother had said that they were alive... right? All of them. That there weren't any ghosts. That thought seemed to ease him just a little ways back from the fear that he was feeling and he was able to take a calming breath. It also helped to see that she looked just as scared as he felt. In an odd way it made him feel safe knowing that she wasn't going to be attacking him... or that the chance of that happening was at least slim. "You... aren't dead," he said. It wasn't a question but an verbal affirmation to himself that she wasn't one of the thoughts that had tormented him. "You... are Zach's friend...?" That was a question though. He had seen her around his brother. He didn't know about any fight between them or why she looked distraught... but he could guess. He glanced down at his reflection, knowing how he looked. "I'm not... either. I won't hurt you... unless you hurt me?" Another question- a deal left open in the air for her to take up. A chance at a mutual agreement to which Joey wouldn't have to worry about her intentions any longer. @tagged / notes | If We All Light Up We can Scare Away the Dark |
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Post by sammikay on Oct 26, 2015 16:28:24 GMT -5
Lori's nerves were at an all time high. She felt more threatened in this moment than she had ever felt before, even when walking the dark alleys of New York to get home. She watched his young form as if at any moment he was going to jump out and throw rocks at her like he had his brother. With a quick fleeting eye, Lori looked around Joey to see if there were many rocks around, and unfortunately for her, there were. She clenched her teeth, trying to fight the desire to run, run as fast as she could. This was just a little boy. Just Zach's brother.
She swallowed when he said she wasn't dead. She couldn't open her mouth to squeeze out any words, but she did nod her head. She was alive. As alive as being caught on this awful island could allow. She watched as he said Zach's name, and it made her throat tighten. "Yes," she managed to squeeze out, nodding along with her voice.
The silence seemed to stretch on as he looked at his reflection and then back at her. Would she hurt him? She couldn't imagine hurting him. He was already so hurt. His brother? She had hurt him. But Joey, she wasn't capable of that. "No, I won't hurt you," she whispered, as if someone were listening and she didn't want to give them the chance to hear their conversation. "I won't hurt you," she repeated stepping a bit closer now. She couldn't fear him. Zach said he was scared. He didn't need everyone fearing for him.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2015 14:06:17 GMT -5
JOEY
Her words eased his mind. Or, well, the thoughts that raged through him. It was, after all, a war being waged in his mind and he didn't know what side she was on. He knew he didn't like that she was looking at him like he was crazy... whether he was or not wasn't the point. Hesitantly he would allow himself to visibly relax, though his hands still fidgeted at his sides for a few moments. "Good..." was all he could say to her answers. "But why are you here?"He thought, briefly, on the possibility that she followed him here. But she said she wasn't going to hurt him. He had to believe that... right? He watched as she took a step closer, moving back with her and slipping from the rock. The slippery surface below provided no traction and he fell into the freezing water behind him. His head made contact with the rocks below and he felt his vision blur for a moment. @tagged / notes | If We All Light Up We can Scare Away the Dark |
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Post by sammikay on Oct 27, 2015 18:14:44 GMT -5
She tried to relax. This was a thirteen year old boy. A thirteen year old boy that had attempted to kill Zach. She swallowed and stood a little straighter. She could handle this. Joey was just a scared child, he wasn't a murderer. She brushed her hands down her arms, attempting to calm herself from the theatrics as she shrugged her shoulders. She had wanted to bathe and see the lagoon. Everyone had been talking about its beauty, and she had yet to go and see it. So, venturing off on her own, she had intended to have a quiet moment to herself. "I just wanted some quiet," she said finally to the child, noticing that his facial features kept changing as he kept thinking to himself. What Lori would give to know his intentions.
She had stepped closer to try and show that she was friendly. She had not expected him to move back, but the real surprise was him falling into the water. Lori did not have protective or any maternal instincts in her body, so when she saw him go into the water, she froze. "Shit," she yelled when she realized that he was not coming back up like a normal person would when they fell into the water. She moved forward, carefully maneuvering herself around the rocky edge as she jumped into the water. Having her tennis shoes on helped her as she landed in the water, the cool spring jumping up to lick her legs. She bent down as fast as she could without slipping herself, and grabbed the kid by his arms. She was no lifeguard, had no life saving skills.
With fear freezing her blood, she couldn't even feel how cold the water was. She pulled Joey above the water, holding him close to her as tried to keep him above the water. "Joey are you alright?!" she cried, tripping over the rocks beneath the water as she attempted to drag the two of them out of the water.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is facing major withdraws. She has used up all of the alcohol that she had scavenged from the wreck, and is down to her very last cigarette. | |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2015 19:09:35 GMT -5
JOEY
The water chilled him, but for a moment his thoughts were clear. It was like a blanket of calm had hit him until he breached the surface. He sputtered and choked on the liquid that burned his lungs, grabbing onto her. His head ached, his lungs ached, but that was all he thought of. That and the lady nice enough to help him. Him- the crazy kid who eats people... not that she knew that. He panted, not moving from her grip as he looked down at the water. A lot of the gunk had washed away from him at this point and he started to look like like a wild animal and more like the boy he used to be. "Thank you.." he stammered, confused as to why she would help him at all. He would help himself to a standing position but not away from her yet. "I'm okay... I... I'm sorry that you got wet.." @tagged / notes | If We All Light Up We can Scare Away the Dark |
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Post by sammikay on Nov 6, 2015 11:47:13 GMT -5
Lori clutched him to her shaking body. She was unsure as to if the water or the fear of what could have happened to the kid on her watch was what made her shiver. She held tight to him, eventually reaching one of her long nimble hands to his head and running her hand over his hair, patting it down and away from his face. She never had the maternal instinct, and in this moment she wondered what caused her to comfort him. It had to be that he was Zach's brother. She and Zach were something after all, and his love for Joey had caused her to protect him. What did that mean for all three of them?
"Don't worry about it, Joey," she said quietly, looking down at her wet legs. "I was wanting to go for a swim anyways," she said quietly. Finally she released the small boy, immediately lifting her hand to brush her hair back as if she hadn't just broke character to comfort the boy. "You look like you needed a good rinse too," she said with a small smile, hoping to get past this moment that they had.
She carefully maneuvered out of the water, sitting on a mostly smooth rock to remove her shoes. She tipped the tennis shoe upside down, water pouring out of it. She shook it a few more times, drops still dripping from them. She untied the other and continued to pour water out of it as well. She squeezed her hair from where it had been dunked in the water. "What were you doing here, Joey? Where's your bother?" she asked, noting that he seemed no where in sight.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is getting through not having any more cigarettes, and is facing early signs of pregnancy now. | |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 15:45:44 GMT -5
JOEY
Being cared for felt... nice. Or thats what he thought he should feel like. There was a mixture of many different emotions coursing through him at the close proximity of which they were in but at the same time he didn't care. She couldn't be bad if she was trying to help. Then she let go and he felt a good deal calmer than he had been before. He didn't feel the need to try and run away. Joey stayed in the water as she climbed out, watching her try to get the water off of her as he thought about what she had said. Once again he looked at the reflection of himself. He could see himself- his real self- the boy he'd been... it kind of scared him. There wasn't anyone he could blame for what he'd done but himself. Eventually he'd live with that... he hoped. At the moment though he just starting to rub more dirt away, scrubbing the grime from his face and arms. When she mentioned Zach though he stilled, glancing up at her with an almost guilty look on his face. "I don't know," he admitted, looking back down. "I needed to get away. There are so many people there... and I... and..." he didn't really have a good excuse other than that. He felt crowded around them all. Zach had put himself right in the middle of everyone's problems as leader. Joey just didn't want to get in the way. "He doesn't need me around anyways," he say. He was still dirty but he would climb out to sit down on the rocks near her. " Why are you here?"@tagged / notes | If We All Light Up We can Scare Away the Dark |
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Post by sammikay on Nov 17, 2015 13:20:14 GMT -5
Lori brushed her hair from her face and brought her knees to her chest. The water was cold, but it had felt like a religious experience when she plunged in. The island had been baking recently, which only made the cold water more tantalizing. She stuck her legs back out, dunking them into the cool water as she watched Joey wade around. He was a cute kid, and his curly hair reminded her so much of Zach. Is this what he had looked like when he was Joey's age?
She was caught up in thought, imagining what Zach had looked like when he was young. What had he done as a child? Was he like Joey? Questions circulated in her head as she tried to relax. After pulling Joey up from the water, she seemed to see him more as the child he was opposed to the scary, wild creature that she had conjured in her mind to represent him. She frowned as he searched for words, for some kind of excuse to being out here.
"Hey, it's alright. I understand needing to get away," she said finally, looking away from him for a moment. "I used to run away from things a lot...Still do," she explained, turning back to look at him. Why was she being so open with him? One dunk into the water and he was brand new.
She bit down on her lip when he said that Zach didn't need him. She couldn't disagree more. After seeing how crazy Zach had been about Joey missing, she could not imagine that Zach didn't need the young boy around. "Your brother needs you more than you think," she said finally, sinking further into the water so that the coolness crawled up her thighs.
"I just needed a break for a while," she explained, running her fingers through her hair. Her nails were grown out by now, and it felt nice to scratch her scalp as she combed through her hair. She had found a hairbrush, but she hadn't brought it with her to this small trip. Lori turned towards Joey and swallowed hard. What was he going through now? He had found his brother but he still felt like he wasn't needed. It was sad, but Lori wasn't sure how to comfort him. She had never been one to comfort in the first place, and in the second, Joey was a kid. And Lori didn't kid.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is getting through not having any more cigarettes, and is facing early signs of pregnancy now. | |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2015 20:37:06 GMT -5
JOEY Listening to her and hearing her say that her brother needed him didn't make him believe it was true. He loved his brother more than anything else. This was a fact that the clung to now more than any other time in his life. Still, he knew that without him Zach's existence here would be much simpler... or thats what he kept telling himself. The version of himself that glared back up at him any time he glanced down at the water. The one that was still covered in the muck and blood of his deeds. Some things couldn't be washed away by the icy waters. You saw them fighting, didn't you? The voice hissed in his head. All you do is cause fights... and the way she looked at you? Just like the others. She hates you too. She is lying to you. How could she tell you the truth? She is afraid. Thats why she doesn't leave... she's afraid you'll chase her. Joey tried to listen to her more, biting his lip nervously before tucking his knees to his chest. She just wanted to be away from everyone but she stayed around him... it still didn't make sense to him. "Then... then why are you... why are you here?" he stressed, pressing a palm to his temple, fingers curling in the wet curls. Zach thinks the same way. You hurt him. You're a monster and they all know it. You killed. You ate. Monster. Monster. Monster.
The more the voices spoke to him the less coherent they became. The boy would bury his face in his knees, his shoulders shaking for a moment. "I'll hide... you can leave... I won't chase you... okay? I'll... I'll let you leave." @tagged / notes | If We All Light Up We can Scare Away the Dark |
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Post by sammikay on Nov 28, 2015 15:11:42 GMT -5
Lori's disposition had changed over time, especially after she had pulled him up from the rock. She seemed calmer, but she still did not look away from him for too long. He was Zach's little brother. Zach's mini him. She couldn't treat him like a bomb ready to explode. She was still nervous, but she felt that she was at least doing better. But, she quickly doubted herself once Joey started to shake and pull himself into himself. She swallowed, blinking as she watched him, legs still dangling in the water.
"Joey, it's alright. I just didn't think anyone would be here," she said softly, glancing away quickly before looking back up at him. She didn't know what to do. He was obviously beginning an episode, but she didn't know jack shit for helping someone in a situation like this. She only had experience from the bar scene, and never had someone freaked out like he currently was. She raised her eyebrow when he told her that she could leave and that he wouldn't chase her. Chase her? Was he wanting to chase her?
"Joey, don't worry, I'm fine. I want to clean off. I'm not afraid you'll chase me," she said as gently as she could, tracing the outline of one of her tattoos as she watched him bury his face and shoulders shake. She needed Zach. She needed help with whatever this was. She didn't have siblings, had no experience with children, and she was afraid that she could be making the wrong decision on what to say to him.
| | Highlights Angry, Addicted, In withdraw. #LoriCurrently. Lori is getting through not having any more cigarettes, and is facing early signs of pregnancy now. | |
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